Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Joe Lunardi’s Inbox

Dear Joe,
You are an idiot. I can’t believe you still have a job at ESPN. A blind monkey could pick the bracket better than you. Don’t you see that [[Insert Team Here]] is criminally under-rated? I mean, look at the teams you have with better seeds. This has to be a joke right?

UConn? Hello, UConn? You are aware they lost Jerome Dyson to injury aren’t you?

North Carolina? Let me know when they decide to play some defense.

Pittsburgh? As a 1 seed? I’m pretty sure Pittsburgh has never been a 1 seed before, and I don’t think that’s about to change. As soon as DeJuan Blair gets in foul trouble, it's curtains for them.

Oklahoma? How many RPI top 25 teams have they beaten? Pretty much zero.

Michigan St? This team barely beat Indiana. And let me tell you, the Big Ten is terrible this year. Nobody can score at all. If my team played in the Big Ten, we’d be blowing teams out.

Memphis? Who have they beaten? Nobody. They have so few top 50 wins, I can’t imagine them being seeded this high.

Duke? Yeah, as soon as Brian Zoubek learns to play. Um, in case you didn’t notice, Duke is way too short to advance in the tournament. To give them a high seed is just a joke. Plus, haven’t you heard about the Duke Swoon?

Oh, and Louisville. Don’t get me started on Louisville. Talk about an ugly offensive basketball team. They lost at home to UNLV when UNLV’s best player was injured. And UNLV is 5th in the MWC. And did you see Louisville get blown out at Notre Dame. This team can’t score enough and they can lose to anyone.

Kansas? Um, maybe last year. They are way too young, and have you seen how often they turn it over? I’m pretty sure that weak Big 12 North schedule is helping them again.

Wake Forest? This team has lost to Georgia Tech, Miami, and NC State. Yep, even the terrible ACC schools can beat them.

Villanova? And you thought Duke was short. I’m sorry, but a team without any post presence isn’t among the top teams in the country. Plus they just lost at home to Georgetown. And Georgetown couldn’t even hold the lead at St. John’s!

Missouri? Huh. Remember they used to have that one running QB guy. He was fun to watch. Whatever his name was. But, I’m pretty sure they aren’t an NCAA tournament team. When was the last time they were good at basketball? Oh, they have the old UAB coach. Huh. Well I’ve never seen this team play, but I’m pretty sure this is too high.

Washington? Yeah right. They haven’t even been in the Top 25 all year. Can you name one of their players? Oh, Brockman. Well, the Pac-10 sucks this year. Nobody plays any defense. If we played in that league, we’d be scoring 100 every night.

Clemson? Let me tell you a little story about Clemson. Every year they start the year undefeated, and then when ACC play rolls around they cave. And look, they’ve lost 2 of their last 3. They’re done.

Marquette? Wow, I was sorry to hear about that Dominic James injury. But I’m pretty sure they were over-rated anyhow. Remember what I said about Villanova and Duke being short?

Xavier? Who have they beaten? A bunch of A-10 teams? Did you see them get pounded by Duke earlier this year?

Purdue? Again, if Hummel was healthy, they might have a chance, but this team just lost at home to Northwestern.

Illinois? This team scored 33 points at home. And 36 points in another game. I’m pretty sure my JV High School team could do better than that.

LSU? The SEC is so weak, it’s a joke. And the SEC West is even worse.

OK, so we all do this. And when you write it all down, it looks pretty silly. But half the fun of being a fan is arguing your team deserves a better seed. This is college basketball.